She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
