why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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