just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
