You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
