Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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