Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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