i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize