if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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