I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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