i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
