apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
