He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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