god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
