She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
