That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
