My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
