A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize