I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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