Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
