Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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