He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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