Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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