We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
