I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
