dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize