while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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