Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
