Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize