Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
honey bunches of taint.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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