my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
