What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
