Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
