I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize