When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
