Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
