I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
