Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize