The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
