gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
