and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i now understand why vodka
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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