Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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