We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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