did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
