i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
sarcasm needs its own font
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize