I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
