He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
