Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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