so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
