You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
