I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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