don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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