I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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