her vagine was all disorganized.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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