hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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