walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
