dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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