dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
