After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
