then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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