he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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