Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
