clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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