About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
