So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
