ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
