I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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