Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
